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xellos (silly)
"Well, come along! I've got two spears,
And I'll poke your eyeballs out at your ears;
I've got besides two curling-stones,
And I'll crush you to bits, body and bones."

Courtesy of
this website.

I wonder how they would have fared against
this guy....

Mmm...donuts.

  • Sep. 11th, 2009 at 10:42 AM
kuroneko-sama (evil grin)
I hope those are toasty fresh!  Delicious....
pickle (pickles!)
Excerpt from '11,002 things to be miserable about.' by Lia Romeo and Nick Romeo

"Seeing your ass in a magnifying mirror"

Enjoy!

On an end note, the giant crack isn't in the mirror.  ;P

Blurb so I don't get in trouble:  If you enjoy these you may want to go out and purchase '11,002 things to be miserable about.' for yourself.  Oh, and I'm not making any money off of this at all.

gaara (thoughtful)
I've had my own little 'theory' on people like this.  I have a few friends who seem to have one misfortune after another.  I have dubbed people with this proclivity to misfortune 'bad luck sinks'.  These people are very important to the rest of the population and this is why.  Bad fortune gravitates towards these people and as a result the rest of the population is more likely to have good fortune.  They siphon off random bad fortune so that the rest of us can go about our daily lives relatively hassle free.

Lesson to be learned:  Be grateful to these individuals, they provide us with a great service at their own expense.

On the other hand, 'good luck sinks' (of which there are some) are jack asses.  They siphon off random good fortune that would otherwise benefit the rest of the populace.  The selfish prigs.

pickle (pickles!)
Excerpt from '11,002 things to be miserable about.' by Lia Romeo and Nick Romeo

"Rhinoceroses getting raped by elephants (yes, this actually happens)"

Enjoy!

Blurb so I don't get in trouble:  If you enjoy these you may want to go out and purchase '11,002 things to be miserable about.' for yourself.  Oh, and I'm not making any money off of this at all.

pickle (pickles!)
Is the name of a "...stream-of-consciousness list of all the reasons why it's not really worth waking up in the morning." book written by Lia Romeo & Nick Romeo that I purchased today.  It's purpose is to be "a much-needed antidote to our culture of raging optimism".  It's actually quite a fun read because of it's poke at books that extort all the little things that make life worth living.  Because it's generally entertaining, I'm going to occasionally mention topics from it for my LJ friends to ignore or comment on at their leisure.  Think of it as a miserable sort of version of the Writer's Block questions LJ gives.  Listed below in quotes is the first randomly chosen topic!

"Hair on the soap"

Enjoy!

Tag Teamed or Team Tagged!?

  • Apr. 29th, 2009 at 11:31 AM
kuroneko-sama (evil grin)
I've been tagged by [info]ednama  and [info]yuuki_hiwatari !

The characters I've been given were:  Sai & Kakashi (respectively)

I answer the questions here! )


9. Please choose 5 friends with your choice of character

[info]_gerald  :  Artemis Entreri
[info]danihana  :  Chi
[info]captain_vegeta  :  Vegeta
[info]tasukigirl  :  Gaara
[info]thatreevesgirl  : Vincent Valentine

Sorry, I almost completely diverged from Naruto.  And of course, no one has to respond if they don't want to.  I tried to make sure to pick characters I'm fairly sure you know about though.

One of my cats is psychotic/neurotic...

  • Mar. 13th, 2009 at 11:10 AM
naruto (kitty love)
and I have the scratches to prove it.  No provocation involved!

Finger Lickin' Good

  • Mar. 13th, 2009 at 11:02 AM
dead pool (laugh riot)
I don't know why, but this is just awesomely funny.

A New Twisted Moral on an Old Myth

  • Feb. 19th, 2009 at 9:17 PM
kuroneko-sama (evil grin)
Once upon a time, there was a great singer named Orpheus.  His singing was so beautiful that rocks would roll closer and trees would uproot themselves to move closer to listen.  He also had a wife whom he loved very much.  Unfortunately she was bitten by a serpent and died.  Orpheus was grief stricken.  He could not go on without her.  So he journeyed to the underworld to beg for her back.  His songs were so beautiful and mournful that Cerberus wept and let him pass.  So beautiful were his songs that they thawed the frozen heart of Persephone and moved the unemotional Hades.  Hades allowed Orpheus to leave the underworld with his wife.  But he also gave a condition.  "Do not look back at your wife until you have both left the underworld.  If you look back she will have to return to the underworld." 

So Orpheus left and his wife followed him.  On the long journey back, Orpheus began to doubt that it was his wife following him.  That perhaps Hades was playing a trick on him.  So his doubts grew as they got closer to the entrance.  Just as he reached the entrance he couldn't contain his doubts any longer...so he looked.  And he got to see his wife's sad face just before she turned and went back to the underworld.

Afterwards, Orpheus was completely inconsolable.  His songs mourned his loss and expressed his grief.  People, the beasts and nature itself were affected by the power of his songs.  One day he was singing in a glade when some furies came upon him.  They were gamboling and shouting.  Drinking and carrying on so loudly they could not hear Orpheus' beautiful songs and so being completely unaffected by them.  They told him to join in their sport and he would not, so grief stricken was he.  They became enraged by his unwillingness and ripped him to pieces.

There is a moral to this story:  DON'T BE EMO!  People eventually get tired of it and won't want you around.  How they make you go away depends on the people.

Note:  Please take this with a grain of salt.  It's not meant to poke at anyone in particular and is for meant for amusement.

Magma!

  • Feb. 19th, 2009 at 10:19 AM
kuroneko-sama (evil grin)


Your result for The Elemental Beauty Test...

Natural Beauty

50% Earth, 8% Air, 8% Water, and 33% Fire!

You scored 50% Earth! Outstanding!


The Earth element is a natural beauty. They tend to keep more toward greens, blacks, and natural colors for their wardrobe and their make-up, if they wear it to begin with. They tend to be grounded and not caught up in the latest trends. They are more interested in doing what feels right for them and being in touch with what is around them.


For inner beauty earth elements look for stability and commitment. They look after others and their family. They are realistic and tactile, meaning they aren't afraid to touch and be touched. But they can also be quite stubborn and unmoving when their mind is made up.


Zodiac signs for earth are Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn.


You also scored:



8% Water: Water is the etheral beauty. They like things that drape and shimmer. The love vintage and heirlooms; things with emotional ties and history. 0% Water may mean that you don't trust or use your intuition. Equal Water and Air would indicate a person that is a hard worker with a need for security and an attachment to possessions.


8% Air: Air is the fearless beauty. They are offbeat and funny. The mix old fashions with new and love to make new trends. They aren't afraid to be new or crazy. 0% Air could indicate that you have trouble looking at things objectively. Persons with equal Earth and Air are usually those who think and use good common sense.


33% Fire: Fire is the alluring beauty. They like to wear bright colors and show some skin. They are sexually minded and spicy. They use a lot of charm to get what they want. 0% Fire can often be seen in someone that pushes and tries to force self-expression. An equal Fire and Earth person is someone who has the ability to be powerfully creative. Fire provides the motivation and Earth provides the tangible results.


Take The Elemental Beauty Test
at HelloQuizzy

Tags:

@_@;

  • Feb. 17th, 2009 at 4:57 PM
dead pool (laugh riot)
I was playing Dragon Quest IV (Dragon Warrior to some non-USA residents) and was thrust into a random encounter.  I was informed of the following.

'A horny devil appears!'

It is with great joy I can say that in spite of being 27 I am still totally immature, because I immediately cracked up.

On a side note, after seeing Coraline the night it came out...I've been possessed by the urge to draw the vampire bat scotty dogs.  No idea why...I just like 'em.

World of Goo

  • Feb. 8th, 2009 at 10:29 PM
kaoru (playful)
Recently purchased a PC game from Walmart.  It's called World of Goo.  It's actually a rather cute puzzle game.  So far it's fairly simple but still entertaining.  I guess there's just something about an animated little round blob with big eyes.  Though it does not work for people in quite the same way.

The game is supposed to be compatible Windows (XP/Vista) and Mac.  It's also CD format, not DVD.

Edit:  Not anymore!  Already stuck on the second stage of the second level.  I feel rather dumb now.  @_@;
  Yay!  Finished with Chapter 2!

Tags:

When do I get my trouser snake?

  • Dec. 17th, 2008 at 12:33 PM
kuroneko-sama (evil grin)
Personal Hygiene

1. I use soap in the shower. A bar of soap.

2. I do not use body washes.

3. I do not trim or pluck my eyebrows.

4. I do not get manicures.

5. I do not put any lotions, oils, balms or creams on my body unless there is some purpose either medicinal or sexual.

6. I have a “haircut,” not a “hair style.”

7. I can wash my hair with soap and a washcloth.

8. I do not wear cologne. Perfume is for girls. Aftershave is acceptable, as long as it’s Old Spice. (I don't use aftershave either, I don't need to shave my face...but Old Spice aftershave is acceptable for men.)

9. I can go from ‘asleep’ to ‘ready to leave for work/movie/date’ in under fifteen minutes.

Personal Style

10. I own a pair of cowboy boots or engineer boots.

11. I own more than one pair of cowboy boots and/or engineer boots.

12. I own a cowboy hat.

13. I own more than one cowboy hat.

14. I own more than one cap with a logo from either a car company, heavy equipment manufacturer, or an agricultural supplier.

15. I do not use an umbrella. If it rains, I have caps and hats.

16. I know the difference between a cap and a hat.

17. I own a leather jacket.

18. I own a black leather jacket.

19. I have scars.

20. I have scars that I brag about.

21. I have scars from gunshot wounds.

22. I carry a pocketknife.

23. I hang stuff on my belt.

Driving

24. I can drive a manual transmission.

25. I can drive a motorcycle.

26. I can drive a commercial truck.

27. I can operate almost any vehicle on two, four or more wheels, from a motorbike to a five-ton truck.

28. I can operate tracked machinery (i.e. Caterpillar.)

29. I can operate a light airplane.

30. I own a truck.

31. I own a four-wheel drive truck.

32. My truck has branch scrapes and rock chips. Lots of them.

33. I carry jumper cables in my truck. (In my car actually.)

34. I carry a high-lift jack in my truck.

35. I carry a tow strap in my truck.

36. I carry an axe in my truck.

37. I carry a gun in my truck.

Outdoors

38. I can navigate with map and compass.

39. I can navigate by orienteering.

40. I can run a chainsaw.

41. I can start a fire without match or lighter.

42. I am proficient with a pistol

43. I am proficient with a rifle.

44. I am proficient with a shotgun.

45. I can make improvised traps.

46. I can capture, kill, prepare and cook wildlife.

47. I can catch fish with purchased fishing tackle.

48. I can catch fish with fishing tackle improvised from materials obtained in the wild.

49. I can build an improvised shelter with materials obtained in the wild.

Entertainment

50. I do not see “chick” movies unless there is a chance that I might get sex afterwards by so doing.

51. John Wayne is, very nearly, a deity.

52. I love Westerns. Especially John Wayne Westerns. (I have no opinion of John Wayne one way or another.)

53. I enjoy movies that feature:

*Hot vampire chicks in black leather.
*Hot any kind of chicks in black leather.
*Hot any kind of chicks.
*Killer androids.
*Killer aliens.

*Zombies.

*Hot vampire android alien zombie chicks.

54. Tom Cruise is the result of a Communist plot to demoralize America by subjecting us to crappy acting. (Don't forget Keanu Reaves!)

Food

55. Vegetarian, my ass. Give me a steak.

56. The four major food groups are: Steak, pizza, beer and cheeseburgers. (I don't really drink that much, but sometimes I don't mind a beer...but not lite, yuck!)

57. Real men eat any damn thing they want.

58. I love bacon with near-religious passion.

59. All foods should be served with home fries and/or corn bread.

60. Everything’s better with Tabasco.

Here's your scoring:
55+ - You're a manly man in the manliest form.
50+ - Your testosterone level is normal, but you're not blowing up anyone's skirts.
< 50 - Oh, for crying out loud, cowboy up already.



I got 24.  Not bad for a girl.  When do I get my trouser snake?

Back to the Topic of Cheese....

  • Sep. 26th, 2008 at 11:18 AM
dead pool (laugh riot)
Okay, some of you may remember my joking post about making human milk into cheese.  Apparently PETA got wind of it and thought it would be a 'good' idea, but to keep me from getting credit they changed it to ice cream instead of cheese.

First of all, how many people do you think would immediately jump ship on Ben & Jerry's ice cream if they did that (not that they're insane enough to do it)? 

Second, scientifically speaking humans are animals too.  If we milked humans instead, wouldn't that be cruelty to animals as well?  Just a thought.

Third, an idea comes to mind from this.  PETA pretty much wants us all to become vegetarians...but some extreme groups say we shouldn't be cruel to plants either.  I have a solution for everyone!  We should all alter our genetics so that we photosynthesize like our plant brothers and sisters!  Granted, we would have to test on humans since animal testing would be a no-no but that wouldn't be cruel because humans don't count according to PETA.  Wouldn't that be worth it to save all the animals?  So what if we have a multitude of casualties during testing...it would all be worth it!  Then, the next time your skin turned yellow and someone asked if you had jaundice you could say, "No, I've just been out of the sun too long."  And you could sip water and eat fertilizer sticks like pocky!  Whee!


Idle work natterings

  • Sep. 23rd, 2008 at 11:49 AM
dead pool (laugh riot)
A moment ago I was sitting here, thinking with my hand over my mouth on how to respond to something and CV said I looked like I was either thinking or trying not to be sick.  So apparently thinking makes me look ill.  Yay!  I find this amusing to no end since I don't really have an aversion to thinking.
kuroneko-sama (evil grin)
Yay!




Your Score: Mystic Theurge


40% Combativeness, 40% Sneakiness, 100% Intellect, 52% Spirituality



Brilliant and spiritual! You are a Mystic Theurge!
Score! You have a prestige class. A prestige class can only be taken after you've fulfilled certain requirements. This may mean that you're an exceptionally talented person, but it probably doesn't.
The Mystic Theurge is a combination of a cleric and a mage. They can cast both arcane and divine spells, and are good at both, making them pretty terrifying on the battlefield. They have more raw spellpower than just about any other class.
You're both intelligent and faithful, but not violent or deceitful. I guess that makes you a pretty good person.

Link: The RPG Class Test written by MFlowers on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Tags:

Tickling my sense of the macabre absurd!

  • Sep. 26th, 2007 at 11:02 AM
gaara (what!?)
Well Bob, I don't think that's no piece of charcoal......

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20982414/?GT1=10357


News of the 'OMG!'  Wow...second hand stuff really IS horrifying.
 
dead pool (laugh riot)
Today I had an excellent conversational moment.  I was asked by one of my coworkers (J) what the phrase 'yaoi' on my shirt meant.  I said it was a genre of anime and it's not something he'd really want to know.  His expression said he sort of still wanted to know.  He asked if it was 'adult'.  To which I had to reply, 'Sort of.  It's a subset of 'adult' anime.  It was gay.  Guy x guy adult anime.  And that girl x girl was yuri and guy x girl was hentai.'  I felt I had to be general in my description.  There was a moment of silence afterwards.

This is when another of my male coworkers (D) came out and joined us.  As we walked I added to J that yaoi was more oriented towards girls while hentai and yuri are more oriented towards guys.  J pretty much said, 'okay' in response and D...who had been absent for this wonderful conversational moment asked what we were talking about.  J's following response is something I will have to praise him for.

'I asked prez what her t-shirt meant and she told me I probably didn't want to know, but I persisted and I found I really didn't want to know.'  D laughed.

YES...I broke brain.  Whoo!

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